Mandatory Teenage Angst

You always hear me talk about more adult topics, and everyone always hears me say how I wanted to be a Veterinarian for a good part of my childhood. Well, now they hear me saying that I want to be a high school Biology teacher. Yup, that's right. Now, before you start in with asking Where is the angst?!, just let me finish.

It isn't entirely true that I've always wanted to be a veterinarian. I have always loved animals. They are my escape, my friends, my listening ear, my shoulder to cry on, my loves. However, they weren't my first love. That title would belong to my voice. I love to sing.

Sure, sure. Lots of people enjoy singing. Yup, my little description box over there says I like singing. Thing is, I never took lessons. I taught myself to sing listening to 'Nsync, Brittany Spears, Shania Twain, Martina McBride, and the like. Whitney Houston is completely my hero.

I was very shy as a kid, and anytime I would sing in front of people, they would get annoyed and shush me. It didn't take long to convince me that I had no talent. I decided, that like everything else, I lacked the talent and would have to make up for it in hard work. I began staying up late into the night, sometimes past midnight, to practice. I sang along to songs, trying my hardest to mimic the voices.

Slowly, I gained confidence. I began to think that maybe, just maybe, I might be some good. I desperately wanted someone to notice my voice. I loved singing so much. It was my dream to be famous, to spread the way music makes me feel to the world. Quite honestly, that dream has never died, nor has that feeling. I still love to sing. It makes me so happy, nearly nothing can stop me from singing, aside from losing my voice completely. Every time I listen to the radio, I dream of being discovered, of getting at least one song on the radio.

I know it's a crazy dream. I know that it's completely illogical, and that hardly anyone ever makes it anywhere. What I don't understand is why that should stop me from trying. I mean, what's the worst that could happen? If I didn't make it, I'd just be right back where I am now, right? It's not like I would stop going to school to try. I would still want to finish up school while I was singing.

So, there's today's angst for you. Hope you enjoyed reading it.

Singing as I post,
Shansie

Shan Interviews Shan - Just for you.

So, you claim to be a teenager, correct?
Well, yes. I do. In fact, I am a teenager. To be more specific, I am seventeen.

I see that you post a lot about topics that don't seem very teenager-like.
I guess you could say that. I suppose I have posted about more adult topics on occasion, if you would like to classify them as such. I've been told I'm more mature than others my age since I was young - okay, now I sound old - since I was a little kid, like 7 years old. I have posted about my philosophy on blogging (if you didn't see it, see my first post here), my hatred of chatspeak, my college classes, photography, writing, drawing, design, books, and, in a roundabout way, my faith.

Your faith?
I am a Christian, and proud. Quite a bit of my writing, photography, etc. reflect that, although very little of it bluntly says it.

You mentioned college classes, but you said you were seventeen. Shouldn't you be in high school?
Yes, yes, and yes. I am seventeen, and yes I am technically in high school. No, I am not taking dual credit high school courses. I am currently working on my second year of my associate's degree in math and science. My college classes not only count towards my degree, but cover all of the requirements necessary to graduate high school, and I mean all of them. Trust me, it's not easy, but it's worth it.

Aren't teenagers supposed to be disrespectful, eternally bored, skip school, listen to loud music, and go to wild parties?
You would be surprised. Disrespectful, well, not always. Every once in a while, I snap at my mom, but I generally apologize and do something nice for her within a few minutes. It really doesn't happen as often as you would think. I know plenty of very respectful teenagers, some of whom you wouldn't expect it from by looking at them.

School skipping is seriously just a stereotype. You are always going to have a few teens who skip school, but in reality, you are always going to have a few adults who call in sick to work when really they're perfectly healthy. We're fairly normal human beings.

Alright, I can't deny the loud music. Mine isn't as loud as most, maybe, but that's just because I don't want to lose my hearing at thirty. We listen to music pretty loudly, and if it's our favorite song, you'll see us reach to turn up the volume. That one's pretty accurate, although not everyone listens to screaming, hard rock, rapping music. We range all the way from classical, to country, to anything else you can imagine. We're pretty open with our music as a general rule.

Wild parties. Oh my. Some teenagers might, but as for me and the majority of my friends, I would much rather stay home and stay up all night watching movies, drinking nothing harder than caffeine, and playing goofy games like "Chubby Bunny."

Oh so you don't know? Well, you just go around the circle and put one marshmallow in your mouth at a time, and try to say "Chubby Bunny" without chewing or spitting out the marshmallows. Last one to lose the mallows wins.


Well, you don't sound like a teenager.
Wait, I haven't posted anything from my teenager-side, have I? Woops, sorry 'bout that. My bad. Would you like me to fix this?

Psh, yes. If you don't, people are going to stop believing you.
Alright, alright. I'll toss some angst up in a post later.

You better.

This is Your Homework.

The book does not lie.

Yes, I'm giving you a reading list. Don't worry, they're all really good books that I thoroughly enjoyed. I can only hope that you will enjoy them as much as I did.

Hit the books, kid.

And don't you close them.

No more, no more,

No more, no more.

(To the tune of "Hit the Road, Jack.")

The Artemis Fowl Series, by Eoin Colfer

I'm obsessed with these books. You know how people are with Twilight and Harry Potter? That's how I am with Artemis Fowl. If they made a movie, I would watch it a million times.

Forever My Lady, by Jeff Rivera

Oh my gosh. What can I say. This book made me cry my eyes out. It was amazing. You should read it.

Black Beauty

Do I really have to list the author? It's a classic. The personality of the horse is captured perfectly.

Lord of the Flies

Okay, so it was required reading, but it was good. I really enjoyed reading it.

Gathering Blue, Messenger, and The Giver, by Lois Lowry

These are phenomenal books. I had to read them for a class, and I now own the series. Beautifully written, and so much thought went into them. They really do make you wonder...

Goosebumps, by RL Stine

I don't care what anyone says. These books from my childhood were the coolest things ever. I loved ghost stories, and these books never ceased to fill my craving for the scary, strange, and creepy.

The Babysitter's Club

Okay, so I read these when I was younger. I still read them over and over. On my shelf, if by no other standards, they're a timeless classic. I never get bored of them.

Majyk, by Angie Sage

There's a whole series of these books, starring Septimus Heap. I've unfortunately only had the opportunity to read the first book, Majyk. Nonetheless, I highly recommend it. I very much enjoyed reading it.

Vibes, by Amy Kathleen Ryan

This is definitely a teenage book. I recently read it, around the same time I read Forever My Lady. I enjoyed it, although it is much less conservative than I consider my usual reading. It had great character development, and made me laugh and cry.

If I could remember more, I would list them for you, but unfortunately that is all I can recall for now. But now, you have three posts caught up here. Hopefully that will help make up for my random absence before. Do let me know if you read any of these books and what you think of them!

Hit the books, Jack,
Shansie